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A year of disappointment or growth?


I have always been someone that does things the hard way and learns things the hard way as well.   I often take on huge projects and pursue big goals just so I can figure out how to do them and ultimately accomplish them for myself.  I believe that I can do hard things even when they sometimes end up overwhelming me.  This independent, hard-working, driven (and yes stubborn and crazy) side of me gets things done and doesn't give up, but it also sometimes results in disappointment and frustration.  Instead of asking for help or seeking counsel from others, I do it the hard way - the long, painful hard way, only to find out there was a much easier way.  I live and learn, become stronger and smarter, but sometimes in the absolutely toughest way.  But that's how we grow, right?

I am also this way when it comes to people.  I like to believe that all people are good.  I seek out the good while overlooking certain things that bother others and should bother me too.  I assume that most people are kind, have good intention, and do what they say.  I like to think that most people are genuinely happy, care about what they are doing and want to make this world a better place.  I like to get to know people for myself, discern what is good and not good, take the good and let it serve me while overlooking the not so good.  People can warn me all they want about certain people or content, but I like to be my own person and give people a chance.  I have also learned this the hard way, as I have later been disappointed by the actions or character of people I truly believed in.  People have a way of fooling us, saying one thing but doing another, giving us false hope and not meeting our expectations.  Sometimes we learn about people and their motives the hard way.  But that's how we grow, right?

2020 continues to disappoint.  This year is full of non-stop disappointments, unmet expectations, failed plans, false hope, frustrating change, sad news, unfairness, overwhelm, and hard lessons.  It's the year that keeps taking things away from us.  It's the year that feels like it will never end.  We started the year with excitement, hope, plans and expectations, only to feel like we have been robbed.  This year is filled with fear and uncertainty, hate and injustice, politics and change.  We are learning that we are not in control and never were in control.  The things we took for granted like our rights and our livelihood can be taken away.  This season we are walking through right now is difficult and challenging, and it feels like there is no end in sight.  It's hard to know who or what to believe anymore.  It's frustrating.  We are learning some things the hard way, and it really stinks.  But I think this is a time for growth, whether we wanted to grow or not.  

I'm okay learning things the hard way as long as I come out stronger and smarter and braver for having gone through it.  I am determined to keep going, keep looking for the good in people, and use this season to learn, grow, and reflect.  Not everything is hard, not everyone is bad, and there is still a chance to turn this lemon we've been given into delicious lemonade if we focus on the good, right?

Let's focus on growth and keep going friends.  God's got this and He never stops working.  He's showing us that only He is in control, and He wants us to fix our eyes on Him and take this situation we've been given and use it for His good.

~ Allison

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