It was March 15, 2020 when life as we knew it suddenly changed. We had just gotten back from our trip to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon and hike the infamous Devil's Bridge, a trip that was supposed to include a medical conference for me, but was cancelled that week due to increased concerns over a global pandemic on the horizon. We decided to go anyways, as our flights were non-refundable at the time, and we really had no clue what was about to happen. That Monday, our kids, along with most kids in the country, were supposed to return to school, but something called Coronavirus (later known as Covid-19, the global pandemic we would talk about for a year or more) had other plans. "Flatten the curve" is what our leaders and health experts told us to do as school was cancelled for a couple of weeks and then moved to virtual for the remainder of the school year. We were basically put on "lockdown" as non-essential businesses were forced to close and people were told to only leave their homes for essential items, jobs, and appointments. This led to panic and fear, confusion and anger. It would be 6 months before our kids returned to school with masks and safety protocols in place and several more months before a vaccine would be approved for emergency use to hopefully end the craziness.
As I write this post I acknowledge that many states currently remain on "lockdown" with kids continuing to be taught virtually, people working from home, and businesses remaining closed. There have been nearly 30 million cases in our country and well over 500,000 deaths related to Covid-19. 10% of our population has been vaccinated so far. 12 months later, it is still very much a problem in our country and the rest of the world.
In order to remember this historical time and document what these last 12 months have been like for me and my family, I am choosing to reflect on some questions. I would encourage you to do the same. Each of us has our own unique perspective depending on where we live, what we do for a living and if the pandemic impacted our work or our business, whether we are parenting young children, retired or widowed, whether we got sick with the virus or not, if we lost family and friends to Covid or not, and how we chose to react and respond to the change and disruption of our every day lives.
To clarify my perspective in case you don't know me, my family lives in Texas (a state with less restrictions than some), I am a family nurse practitioner, my husband is a middle school principal, we have young kids in public school, and thankfully none of our immediate family or close friends have gotten Covid so far. My family of 4 has yet to be tested for Covid, quarantined due to Covid, nor have our jobs been lost due to Covid. As essential workers, my husband and I have been blessed to receive the vaccine, as well our parents who are in their late 60's. We realize that others have not been so lucky, and as a healthcare worker, Christian, and person with a heart, I see you, hear you, and sympathize over what you have gone through and what you continue to go through as we all navigate this season of change, challenge, and loss.
1. When I look back on this historical time in our history, what will I remember most?
As a healthcare provider, I will remember the week our clinic confirmed the first positive case and how quickly we had to make decisions on how to keep our staff as well as our patients safe. I will remember the shutdowns and the cancellations of surgeries and appointments, the layoffs of healthcare workers in the middle of a healthcare crisis, wondering if I might be next; learning telemedicine, wearing a mask to work for a year (sometimes the same mask for a week due to the shortage), seeing patients in the parking lot wearing full PPE in the Texas sun, giving the same instructions over and over again, listening to sick tearful patients on the phone who were scared for themselves and their family, following up with Covid patients who had lingering effects such as fatigue, shortness of breath, and brain fog, counseling patients who were anxious, depressed, and isolated, and not being able to hug or shake hands with my patients or see their smiles. I will remember the endless mask debate, the hate and division of our country in an election year like no other. I will remember the week our clinic closed due to SNOVID, the crazy blizzard that affected Texas, resulting in 205 hours of below freezing temperatures in the middle of a pandemic causing icy road conditions, power outages, frozen and busted pipes, deaths and destruction. As a healthcare worker, this was the first time in 18 years that I was told to stay home for a week due to weather and road conditions. It was truly historic.
But in the midst of a challenging year for healthcare workers, I will also remember the good. I will remember patients bringing us hand-sewn masks and hand sanitizer, thanking us for serving. I will remember the smiles behind the masks and the kindness in people's eyes. I will remember the night I was able to get my 1st dose of the Covid vaccine, just days before Christmas, tears in my eyes as Silent Night was playing in my car, hoping the end of the pandemic was near. I will remember the pride I felt to be on the frontlines working and serving my community, wishing I could do more.
As a spouse and a mom, I will remember my husband and kids being home for 6 months while I woke up and went to work. I will remember the stressful months my husband not only navigated virtual school for his campus and eventually return to school plans during a pandemic, but also helped coordinate the construction of a new school building while also watching our kids. It was a lot. I will remember all the missed events and celebrations, including my husband's much anticipated graduation from Baylor University with his doctorate degree. I will remember 6 months with no sports or activities. I will remember empty aisles at grocery stores, a toilet paper shortage, and a shutdown of small businesses.
But I will also remember the good. From the quiet evenings at home, family walks and chats with our neighbors, sidewalk chalk art, card my yard and birthday parades, fishing at the creek, baking and watching old movies, completing projects around the house, and bringing home a new pet in the form of a hamster.
2. What have I missed the most?
In the last year I have missed church the way it used to be, life without masks and social distancing, community in the form of large gatherings, race days and finish lines, going to the movie theatre, Austin Broadway shows, Survivor and other TV shows, birthday parties and celebrations, and seeing my patients without masks and all the safety protocols.
3. How have I coped with the change?
Well, besides a lot of wine and movie nights, I've coped by running and staying active, blogging and sharing positive content on social media, reading books and listening to podcasts, completing projects around the house, plus I wrote and self-published my 2nd book, Fill up to Spill out, because we can't pour from an empty cup filled with little tidbits about the pandemic and lessons learned in 2020. Despite the hardships of 2020, I continued to choose joy, and as a family we continued to try and live as normal as possible, still sending our kids to summer camp and then to school in a mask, even traveling some and gathering with family members and close friends. We chose to not live in fear, but instead to focus on peace, joy, and purpose over any fears we had. After all, we didn't really have the choice to stay home.
4. What have I learned?
I've learned that we GROW through change, challenge, and choosing to grow, and I feel like the last 12 months have been filled with all 3. I've learned that kindness is one's best quality. I've learned that our purpose should be greater than our fear, that we should be better prepared for storms that come our way, and that we should love like Jesus even when we're surrounded by hate, negativity, division, and destruction.
5. What keeps me going?
My faith and my purpose on this Earth is what keeps me going. I continue to focus on learning from yesterday, living for today, and having hope for tomorrow. Through this stressful year, I have chosen to focus on what truly matters, protect my peace, create joy in simple moments, and try and encourage those around me. I continue to surround myself with positivity, dimming the negativity, and choosing to spread kindness and light in a world filled with darkness.
"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13
"Be strong and courageous... for the Lord is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Blessings to you and your family. ~ Allison
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